The idea of networking makes many people uncomfortable … or confused.
It’s easy to see why.
When most people think about networking it seems insincere at best —
and selfish at worst. This, of course, is the complete opposite of what
networking is supposed to be — friendly, useful, and genuine.
It’s easy for most of us to be friendly and useful with people we
know. However, because networking is a “business activity” it’s easy to
think that we need to act in a different way.
Unfortunately, most networking strategies come across as pushy,
needy, or self-serving — even though the people using them rarely act
that way in day-to-day life.
Don’t worry, there are definitely genuine ways to
self–promote.
So, in the spirit of helping everyone become a better networker, here
are 24 networking tips, which from my experience, actually work.
The real goal of networking
1. The goal of networking should be to help other people.
Yes, it would be nice if they helped you out as well, but networking is
a two–way street. And your side of the street is all about helping
others, not asking them to help you. Asking for favors should only
become a possibility once you have learned more about the person and
provided some value to them.
2. It’s far more important to understand their needs before you tell them about your needs.
Your goals should not be on the forefront of your mind. You’re trying
to develop a relationship with someone, which means you should be
thinking about them. It’s your job to understand the people in your
network, where they are coming from, and what’s important to them.
Setting expectations
3. You don’t need to know the most people, just the right people.
There is no need to shotgun your business cards across the industry or
to pepper everyone with emails. Instead, focus on finding people that
are relevant to you. As time goes on, you can decide if the interests
that you share with someone are worth pursuing further. It’s better to
have 5 people willing to help you out than it is to have 500 that simply
know your name.
4. Don’t expect anything. The fact that you reached
out and made contact with someone does not put them in your debt. No one
is required to “pay you back.” Instead of approaching networking with
the goal of gaining favors, try reaching out with curiosity. Contact
interesting and relevant people and see what happens. Some of them will
respond and some of the won’t. Learn about the people that follow up.
Find out what makes them interesting and how you can help them — and
don’t expect anything in return.
5. Don’t leave networking to chance. Take some time
and define what you are looking for in your network. Every once and
awhile you’ll stumble across someone amazing on accident, but it’s a lot
easier to find who you’re looking for if you know who they are in the
first place. Be proactive and create a list of people that you want to
contact on purpose.
6. Go beyond your industry. Connect with people on a
variety of levels from a wide range of areas. By growing your network
outside of the usual areas you will be more valuable to people that are
in your immediate industry. The people you work with have personalities
and multiple interests, right? With a broad network you can be the
person that connects people across industries.
7. Don’t dismiss anyone as irrelevant. Maybe you
don’t think a local blogger would be a good contact because you work at a
medical practice. However, when you open a new branch and you want to
let people know about it, you’ll be glad you reached out to someone with
an audience.
How to reach out to someone new
8. Quantify how much time you’re going to take. People
are busy and when someone new starts talking to them, the first thing
that comes to their mind is “How long is this person going to talk to
me?” or “How much time is this going to take?”
Address those concerns from the start by saying something like, “Hi. I
have one item that I’d like to briefly discuss with you. It should only
take two minutes. Do you have time now?” Asking questions like this not
only shows that you respect their time, it also gives you the option of
speaking with them later if they are too busy now.
9. Start by offering praise, not requesting help.
Unless you have a mutual contact that is putting you in touch for a
specific reason, it’s best to avoid asking for anything when you meet
for the first time. Don’t ask for favors, for promotion, for advice, or
even to meet up for lunch or coffee. Simply start by offering a short
compliment. After they respond to this initial contact, you can begin
moving things towards a more lengthy meeting.
10. Keep your emails short. If your first contact is
via email, then split the message into smaller segments. Instead of
reaching out to someone new with a long-winded, five paragraph
explanation of why you are contacting them, use that first email to
focus on a small bit of praise. You can send further details to them
after they reply. Keep that first message friendly and short.
11. If you must ask for a favor, then ask for permission to continue. There
are some situations where you need to ask for something, but don’t have
the luxury of time to get to know them. Most situations don’t fall
under this category, but if you must ask for something, then weave in
requests for permission before you make an offer. I’ll give a real
example.
I was recently talking to the director of an organization about
offering a new course to his clients. I started by asking for permission
to continue. “I’ve run successful courses on X before. Would you like
to know more?”
He was interested and we ended up having a great conversation.
An additional benefit of this strategy is that you are getting the
other party to say, “Yes,” to you. As a general rule, if you can get
someone say yes to you three times, then the odds of your offer being
accepted by them drastically increase. You don’t need to ask permission
for everything, but if you’re opening a conversation where you will need
to make an offer, then it can work wonders.
How to build the relationship
12. Try to provide as much value as you possibly can.
The more value you create, the more it will come back to you many times
over. Focus all of your networking efforts on helping the people you
contact.
13. Start by focusing on being friendly and helpful.
This is the number one tactic you can use to build your network. Simply
spread information in a friendly and helpful way. Did you read a book
that someone in your network will enjoy? Tell them about it or send them
a copy. Are you using something that would help a friend with a project
they are working on? Email it to them. Hear a new music album that a
someone might enjoy? Send it their way. Building your network is the
same as building friends. Be interested in what they are doing and offer
friendly suggestions when you can.
14. Develop the habit of introducing people.
Connecting like-minded people is a powerful to enhance your network. The
idea of doing this seems foreign to many people, but it is actually
quite easy. Do you know two people who enjoy reading the same type of
books? Or like the same sports teams? Or love reading about history? Or
work in the same industry? You get the point. Don’t make it hard, just
introduce the two of them by sharing their common interest. They can
decide if they want to pursue the relationship further.
15. Ask if people want to be connected. If you’re
apprehensive about connecting two people, then ask one of them if they
want to be connected. “I know another person that’s doing Y. Would you
like for me to introduce you sometime?” Even if they aren’t interested,
they will appreciate the offer.
16. Nurture your current network. Most people think
of networking as reaching out to new people, but don’t forget about the
network that you already have. (Hint: You probably call them your
friends and co-workers.) There is no need to wait to meet new people to
start connecting others or sharing useful information. Network within
the groups that are already close by.
Making networking a habit
17. Try to contact one person per day. If you reach
out to 5 new people every week, that would be about 250 per year.
Sending an email or making a quick call will only take about 5 minutes
of your day. Not everyone is going to get back to you, but if you
contact that many new people, then you’re bound to make significant
progress.
18. Don’t take “No,” personally. Everyone is busy.
For most people, it’s simply a matter of timing. If you catch them on a
good day, then they will happily talk or meet with you. If they’re
swamped, however, then a simple “No” might be all that you get. Don’t
take it to heart. In most cases, it’s not a reflection of you or what
you said.
19. Make it a point to follow up. One or two days
after meeting someone for the first time, follow up with a brief email
or note. This is an opportunity to develop the relationship by bringing
up a topic that you discussed before or making a comment on an
interesting topic. Following up with relevant conversation helps to
anchor your previous interaction in their mind and displays more
personality than just sending a message that says, “Thanks for talking!”
20. Did you fail? Try reaching out in a different way.
You don’t want to pester anyone, but if you give them a few weeks and
don’t hear a response, then there is nothing wrong with being
persistent. For example, dropping in to talk face to face has resulted
in great conversations with people that previously ignored my emails.
Sometimes switching it up is all you need to do.
Things to remember
21. Network with the intention of helping other people, not yourself.
People enjoy doing business with those that they trust and like. The
only way to build that trust is to engage with others in a helpful way.
Yes, trust takes a long time to build, but insincerity takes even longer
to overcome. Once you’ve developed a relationship and created a bond,
then you can move on to
negotiating for favors and asking for help.
22. Networking is more about listening to what people say than saying the right things.
Take the time to listen to people’s stories. You can only provide
something of value to them if you listen to who they are and what they
do.
23. Sometimes the best networking opportunities involve real work.
Volunteer for events, committees, or projects that will have
interesting people at them — or better — working for them. Working on a
project or task with someone is one of the best ways to develop a
relationship. For example, volunteering for a non–profit can be a great
way to get to know their influential board members.
24. Email is easy to send … and ignore. Yes, email
is quick, simple, and can be sent to anyone, anywhere. It’s also very
easy to be filtered out and ignored. If you really want to meet someone,
then don’t be afraid to pick up the phone, propose a video chat, or
arrange a face-to-face meeting. These communication channels are usually
less crowded and more personal, which means that your message will be
more memorable. Email can be a great tool, but don’t be afraid to mix it
up.
Get started right now
You don’t need to be a master to start building your network. Just
taking a moment to reach out is a big step that will help most people.
Sharing useful information and connecting like-minded people are simple
actions that everyone will appreciate. Focus on being useful and don’t
make networking harder than it has to be.
If you enjoyed these tips, then I suggest signing up for the Free
Newsletter on Earning More. It’s filled with relevant tips about
networking, negotiation, and all sorts of ways to earn more. Sign up
today and you’ll immediately receive a free bonus — the 7-part
Freelancing 101 Course that shows you how to earn an extra $500 in the
next 5 weeks. Simply fill out the form below.
What are your best networking tips? How have you successfully built relationships? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
I have to agree that following up with people you’ve connected is very very important in order to deepen the connection.
Thanks so much for sharing these useful tips.
Especially point 6 “Go beyond your industry.” Rings my jackpot. Too long have I spent my time in the same circles – people who were similiar to me, and who owned the same niches as well. It can be a comfort zone push to connect with people outside of your area, but if you want to grow both spiritual and business-wise, you got to step out of you territory and conquer new lands !
Thanks James.
If you’re struggling with a place to start, then just reach out and try to be friendly and helpful. It will all go from there.
Thanks!
Thank You
Either way, just get out there and lend a helping hand.
However, the idea of networking being primarily about adding value to others is a really helpful perspective to have.
Thanks
Would it be ok if we put your post “24 networking tips that actually work” on our networking website?
We operate the biggest wedding networking group in south Florida and we feel that your article would be very useful to our guests.
We are a group of event and wedding professionals that meets every month for a chance to connect and keep up-to-date on the latest trends in the industry. Since our inception in August of 2008, we have consistently drawn 200-500 colleagues from each sector of the industry; bringing planners, vendors and venues face-to-face in a casual and friendly business environment.
You’re welcome to share or link back to the article however you like. Just don’t copy and paste it to your site.
Thanks for reading!
Another piece of advice from your site I found particularly useful was to offer clients solution for their problem rather than ask them for a job.
The problem is, that networking isn’t about making friends. It’s about building some sort of quasi-relationship where you aren’t really friends, and you arent in a business relationship (co-worker, client, etc), but you are connected enough to be able to stay in contact with some other person over a long period of time. This usually involves faking an interest in the the other person, because if you really WERE interested, then you’d be friends (see, there’s that whole ‘making friends’ thing again.)
I just don’t see any way around this without there being some level on insincerity.
Great post. A lot of these things I do often but it’s good to read them over again.
Your point on contacting one person every day is a great strategy. I’m 25 and run a marketing agency. Building my network is integral to my success. I have 100′s of friends from high school and college working across the country. Many could be great resources for me and I could be a great resource for them. Problem is, we haven’t talked in a while. Reaching out with a simple FB message is the perfect way to reel them back into your life. Say something like, “Hey, whats up? Been a long time and was thinking about you. Wanted to see what’s new and what you’re up to!”
Thanks for the tips James. Keep ‘em coming!